Fun Times

I recently went on a trip to Chicago, and i had a blast, Levan and I drove down and rented a hotel room next to the Allstate Arena becuase we decided to go to the Enrique Iglesias Concert, which was awesome, we were only six rows away from the Hottie himself.

It was a great trip, I even introduced levan to his first ever Flea Market on sunday morning, he wasnt so into it but did find a few soccer jersey's and a watch for me :).

Who decides?

I have recently learned that no decision is an easy decision and not all decision will make everyone happy. This kind of sucks, because all though I feel something is right for ME, I have 5 people telling me that its for sure not. Who knows what to do anymore or for that matter what to think.

Why is it that everyone gets to live and learn from their mistakes but when It comes to me I am expected to live and learn from their mistakes instead of making my own?


Life is so difficult. How do you just let go of someone you have loved for so long? does anyone have this answer? maybe we are not right for each other, maybe he really messed up, but regardless how does the love just stop? I don't think it does. So with that said what do you do about it? do you just pretend you don't love, because this is what everyone else wants?

If you have answers to any of these questions please let me know, because apparently i need serious help!



The steps I am taking:


I am just living 1 day at a time. I have decided to let myself feel happy in the moment and to not look any further than that. So far it seems to be working for me.


I am not closing the door to new opportunities but I have not yet closed the door to the love I have in my heart.



There are a couple things i know for sure, I know that i am ready to grow up and think about marriage and children, I am ready to be with ONE man for the rest of my life, and I am not willing to compromise on these things any longer. Some say i am too young but growing up all i dreamed of being was a happy loving wife and mother, and that's what my heart wants. I always refuse to be a mans second best, I will be with someone who wants to be with me and will make me #1 in his life, someone who remembers special occasion's and someone who lets me cry on there shoulder. i will also no longer compromise my religion, My future husband will be a practicing Christian.


So i suppose that, i really have no concrete answers for my future, i just know what i want and what i will have. and as for today i will live one moment at a time. becuase i spent my entire life planning my future and look it all disappeared so there really is no use is worrying about what i can not see or control.

Times UP!

They say everything happen's in threes and at this point im praying this is true and it is now my turn for a break.

1) My grandfather died
2) I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years
3) Having a serious issue with my boss at work

Am i done yet?

Going through all this has made me realize that obviously god wants me to be a stronger person. So as I slowly heal I just continue to pray... that was his plan all along i suppose :)

A friend(Thank you Katie :)) of mine sent me this verse and i want to share it:

Psalm 13

1 How long, O lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hife your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, O lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

4 My enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in you unfailing love;
My heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

I have this hanging at my desk and i like to read it over and over when i start to feel discouraged.

As the world turns :)

I'm alive and happy, 2 days no tears, and actually i feel amazing. it really even surprises me.

i think i made myself believe that i was more reliant on him than i really was, i even feel relieved to be free and know that i am on a path that was chosen for me and all i have to do is hold the lords hand and he will continue to guide me.

Tonight will be a blast, Ana turned 26 woho! ladies night, this always means lots of dancing and laughs and i can't wait, it will be awesome to do these things without worrying about someone else the entire time.

Now, those of you that know me well know that i do not drink or party a lot and i don't even really going downtown, but for an occasion like this i will live it up to the fullest. and then i will probably need a low key night for Saturday (hehe).

One other thing, i never realized what a cool feeling it is to live in one place every night, i don't have to live out of my gym bag anymore. what a wonderful feeling :)

Love you guys, thanks for checking in on me!

The Truth comes out

Ok, so as most of you should know, this last week has pretty much been from hell. I have recently found myself single, i know its for the best but never the less this does not make it any easier, last week i found out that i was cheated on. I know can you believe it? this was never supposed to happen to me, but it did and i guess its like they say, the hardest things are sometimes the best things and they only make you stronger.

I honestly feel that the hardest thing about this is that i have to let go of the person that has been my best friend for 4 years. It nearly seems impossible to go to sleep and wake up with out him in my life.

This experience has shown me how loved i really am, i have people praying for me from all over the place and i have friends that are their for me more then i ever thought they would want to be.

On this path to a new life i have realized some wonderful things, and i think i will only continue to learn about myself and the people around me.

I do know that i am not going to waste anytime, i am a great person, i am caring and compassionate. and i deserve to be loved and respected the same way that i love and respect the people in my life.

Now that i have openly spilled my guts, i just want to say that today is a new day and a better day.

God only gives me what i can handle and this too will pass.

I love all you guys for your prays and support,

thank you again for being my friend.